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The Trauma Response is Never Wrong

MaryCatherine McDonald — June 12, 2023

We have been tricked to believe that the trauma response is a sign of weakness and disorder. What science shows us is that the trauma response is in fact a sign of strength and proof of an inherent human drive to survive. We need society to catch up with science, and fast. We are no longer living in an era where we can assume that trauma impacts a minority of the population. Trauma impacts us all. This has always been true, but we can no longer pretend otherwise.

Unbroken is a book about the miracle of the trauma response, the importance of acceptance and self-compassion, and the transformative healing potential that lies within us all. Drawing on my experience as a trauma researcher, coach, as well as my own personal journey of healing, this book offers a new perspective on trauma that emphasizes the wisdom of the body and the resilience of the human spirit.

If you’re struggling with the after-effects of trauma, Unbroken can help you understand your experience in a new light. You’ll learn how trauma impacts the brain, the body, and the spirit, and how you can use this knowledge to start your journey of healing. You’ll discover practical tools and strategies for managing trauma triggers, regulating your emotions, and cultivating self-compassion. Most importantly, you’ll learn that the trauma response is never wrong – it’s a natural and adaptive response to a difficult situation.

One of the most important lessons of Unbroken is that the trauma response is never wrong. This means that even if you’re struggling with symptoms like anxiety, depression, or dissociation, your body is doing exactly what it needs to do to protect you. By embracing this truth, you can start to shift from a place of shame and self-blame to a place of self-compassion and empowerment. The book is chock full of tools that will help you understand and appreciate your trauma response and how to intervene when that response is tripped off unnecessarily. I can’t wait for you to dig in and I can’t wait to hear how this book changes you. It certainly changed me.

MaryCatherine McDonald, PhD, is a research professor and life coach who specializes in the psychology and philosophy of trauma. She has been researching, lecturing, and publishing on the neuroscience, psychology, and lived experience of trauma since the beginning of her PhD in 2009. She’s published two academic books and many research papers, and she is the creator of a trauma-based curriculum designed to serve previously incarcerated folks and veterans

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Tony Schwartz and Kimberly Manns: The Reckoning: Seein...

Kimberly Manns
Tony Schwartz — June 6, 2023

Who could you become if you fully allowed yourself to accept what you really want and go for it without reservation? What’s standing in your way? With their audio learning program, The Reckoning, celebrated leadership consultants Tony Schwartz and Kimberly Manns invite you to a deep-dive exploration of why you are the person you are, and who you can be—as a human being and a leader in today’s world.

In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Schwartz and Manns about their empowering seven-session audio program and their own journeys through the material they continue to learn even as they teach it. Give a listen as they discuss childhood development and confirmation bias; white male privilege and power; superiority, worthiness, and “defender” personas; the insecurity of oscillating between better than and less than; the three selves framework; encountering your core self; IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy; the Enneagram; somatic work and trauma healing; the brave act of personal evolution called “the reckoning”; re-parenting yourself; the profound starting place called noticing; becoming a “chief energy officer”; the collective reckoning for the human species at this time; upgrading the human operating system; the four intelligences—the mind, the heart, the body, and the spirit; the qualities of one who reckons; responsibility and ownership; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

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Melissa Bernstein: Finding Meaning and Creating from L...

Melissa Bernstein — May 30, 2023

Through the wonderful, timeless toys she has created with her husband and their company, Melissa & Doug, Melissa Bernstein has sparked a brilliant imaginative light in the lives of thousands of children (and their parents!). Yet before the runaway success of the business, Melissa struggled with deep angst and inner darkness. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with the Entrepreneur in Residence for Sounds True’s Inner MBA® program about consciously choosing to follow your creative spirit over your inner critic—whether or not you’re a business owner.

Aspiring entrepreneurs and creatives of every stripe will love this conversation about: breaking free from perfectionism; how it’s not a blessing or a curse—it’s a “blurse”; Viktor Frankl and existential analysis; finding the flavors in your own “pie of meaning”; Melissa’s two faucets of creativity; the battle between the head and the heart; turning the ordinary into the extraordinary; intuition versus ego; overcoming a victim mindset; accepting the full spectrum of our emotions; curiosity and connecting the “dots of experience” as an entrepreneur; the analogy of the mind as a very large kitchen; the “keep moving” philosophy (even if it’s backwards); handling marketplace rejection; two critical elements of business success: clear focus and a valuable product; the inner growth necessary for business people; extending lifelines to each other; and more.

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How Reframing Conflicts Can Actually Help Your Relatio...

Richard Schwartz — May 25, 2023

In the Internal Family Systems model, the practice of speaking for, rather than from, parts when they are triggered is an important aspect of Self-leadership. When people receive a message from you, it has two components: the content (the actual words) and the energy behind the words. When your protective parts are upset and speak directly to another person, invariably they will trigger parts in the other. When, on the other hand, you listen to your protectors and then speak for them, from your Self, the message is received in a very different way, even if you use the same words that your parts are saying. Your words lose their judgmental sting or their off-putting desperation and coerciveness. Instead, your respect and compassion for the other person will be heard in addition to the courage of your convictions.

Self energy has a soothing effect on any parts it touches, whether they are in you or in another person. When your parts trust that you will speak for them, they feel less driven to take over and explode at people. What they really want is to have a voice—to be listened to by you and to have their position represented to others.

Practice: SELF-LEADERSHIP AS A WAY OF INTERACTING IN A CONFLICT

These practices—remaining the “I” in the storm or the empty vessel, and speaking for rather than from your parts—can be combined into a general way of relating as a couple when you have conflict. When you begin to fight, each of you can try the following:

Pause
Focus inside and find the parts that are triggered
Ask those parts to relax and let you speak for them
Tell your partner about what you found inside (speak for your parts), and
Listen to your partner from your open-hearted Self

When a couple is embattled and each focuses inside, as in step 2, usually they only hear from their protectors. If it feels safe enough, moving an extra step toward vulnerability can reap big rewards. That step involves staying inside long enough to learn about the exiles that your protectors are guarding, and then telling your partner about these vulnerable parts. In most cases, when one partner has the courage to reveal the vulnerability that drives their protectiveness, the atmosphere immediately softens and the couple shifts toward Self-to-Self communication.

This is an excerpt from You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships by Richard C. Schwartz, PhD.

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Stan Tatkin: In Each Other’s Care

Stan Tatkin — May 23, 2023

Dr. Stan Tatkin is uniquely talented at helping couples shift from being in each other’s faces to being in each other’s care. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks to the innovative therapist and author about his new book, In Each Other’s Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them, discussing some of the research-based, practical strategies he has developed in his celebrated PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) model.

Give a listen to this gritty, honest, informative, and empowering conversation exploring: cultivating secure functioning relationships; why couples must create their own culture of shared power, respect, and collaboration; finding the balance between independence and interdependence; the one-directional nature of codependency; becoming your partner’s whisperer; why “earned love” is what endures; the fantasy of the same page; attachment versus love; mutual purpose and care as ingredients for an awesome relationship; the physical toll of an insecure functioning relationship; the Sherlocking technique; the power of eye contact; practicing quick repair; touch: an unequivocal signal of friendliness; the basic need in relationship: you and I are OK; the Big Five: sex, money, kids, time, and mess; jealousy and envy; longevity and happiness through co-creating the architecture of your relationship and understanding how you interact under stress; and more.

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Rainn Wilson: Standing for a Spiritual Revolution

Rainn Wilson — May 16, 2023

How do we reimagine society and build it anew upon a foundation of love, unity, and compassion? This is the central question Rainn Wilson explores in his new book, Soul Boom: Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution. In this podcast, Tami Simon sits down with the actor and comedian to learn, in Rainn’s words, “Why the hell is the actor who played Dwight in The Office writing a book about spirituality?”

Enjoy this inspiring conversation that is at once funny, clever, and sincere, as Tami and Rainn discuss the cultural critique of people on a spiritual path; connecting with others from both our brokenness and wholeness; God, higher powers, and belief in a great mystery; the radiant word “devotion”; finding your authentic voice; the need for a spiritual revolution in our times; creating a new mythology; the potential pitfall in being “spiritual but not religious”; the Latin word “religio”—to bind together; the Baha’i faith; Rainn’s advice to don’t just protest—build something; the maturation of humanity; keeping hope alive and fighting for joy; and more.

The Trauma Response is Never Wrong

Tony Schwartz and Kimberly Manns: The Reckoning: Seein...

Melissa Bernstein: Finding Meaning and Creating from L...

How Reframing Conflicts Can Actually Help Your Relatio...

Stan Tatkin: In Each Other’s Care

Rainn Wilson: Standing for a Spiritual Revolution

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