Tami Simon speaks with Dr. Reginald A. Ray, gifted teacher in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition for 40 years in the lineage of Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche. Reggie is the founder of Dharma Ocean and author of the book Touching Enlightenment. His most recent program with Sounds True is a historic 37-hour audio training course on the pinnacle teachings of Tibetan Buddhism, titled Mahamudra for the Modern World. In this episode, Tami speaks with Reggie about the possibility of using modern methods for capturing the essence of student-to-teacher transmission, how glimpsing the awakened state fits in with Mahamudra training, and the “three teachers”—a human teacher, the natural state, and life itself. (65 minutes)
Adyashanti is a widely beloved, American-born spiritual teacher whose practice is rooted in Zen Buddhism but has expanded beyond any one path or perspective. He has created many books and audio programs through Sounds True, including Resurrecting Jesus, Emptiness Dancing, and Healing the Core Wound of Unworthiness. In this episode of Insights of the Edge—which previously appeared as part of the provocative interview series Waking Up: What Does It Really Mean?—Tami Simon and Adyashanti inquire deeply into what exactly constitutes “awakening.” Adya describes his own experiences of awakening, vividly comparing and contrasting his felt sensation of each of these life-changing experiences. Tami and Adya also discuss whether awakening is a sudden or gradual process, and what one can and cannot expect from these moments of profound epiphany. Finally, Adya shares his pith instructions on how to encourage such a spiritual awakening.
(57 minutes)
Tami Simon speaks with Cynthia Bourgeault, an Episcopal priest, author, and teacher of prayer in the contemplative Christian tradition. She is the principle teacher and advisor to the Contemplative Society and the founding director of the Aspen Wisdom School. Cynthia is the author of The Wisdom Way of Knowing: Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening, and with Sounds True she has created the audio learning course Encountering the Wisdom Jesus and the audio program Singing the Psalms. In this episode, Tami and Cynthia speak about “kenosis,” or self-emptying, as the center point of Jesus’ message, how we can understand Jesus’ life as a sacrament, and how love lives on beyond death. (53 minutes)
Caroline Myss is an internationally renowned speaker, medical intuitive, mystic, and pioneer in the field of energy medicine. She is the author of five New York Times bestsellers, as well as the Sounds True audio learning programs Energy Anatomy, Sacred Contracts, and Your Creative Soul. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon and Caroline discuss what it means to “heal beyond reason.” They speak on near-death experiences and the nature of the soul. Finally, Tami and Caroline talk about spiritual metamorphosis and the seven graces that can empower a person to live a richer, more authentic life. (56 minutes)
In the Internal Family Systems model, the practice of speaking for, rather than from, parts when they are triggered is an important aspect of Self-leadership. When people receive a message from you, it has two components: the content (the actual words) and the energy behind the words. When your protective parts are upset and speak directly to another person, invariably they will trigger parts in the other. When, on the other hand, you listen to your protectors and then speak for them, from your Self, the message is received in a very different way, even if you use the same words that your parts are saying. Your words lose their judgmental sting or their off-putting desperation and coerciveness. Instead, your respect and compassion for the other person will be heard in addition to the courage of your convictions.
Self energy has a soothing effect on any parts it touches, whether they are in you or in another person. When your parts trust that you will speak for them, they feel less driven to take over and explode at people. What they really want is to have a voice—to be listened to by you and to have their position represented to others.
Practice: SELF-LEADERSHIP AS A WAY OF INTERACTING IN A CONFLICT
These practices—remaining the “I” in the storm or the empty vessel, and speaking for rather than from your parts—can be combined into a general way of relating as a couple when you have conflict. When you begin to fight, each of you can try the following:
Pause
Focus inside and find the parts that are triggered
Ask those parts to relax and let you speak for them
Tell your partner about what you found inside (speak for your parts), and
Listen to your partner from your open-hearted Self
When a couple is embattled and each focuses inside, as in step 2, usually they only hear from their protectors. If it feels safe enough, moving an extra step toward vulnerability can reap big rewards. That step involves staying inside long enough to learn about the exiles that your protectors are guarding, and then telling your partner about these vulnerable parts. In most cases, when one partner has the courage to reveal the vulnerability that drives their protectiveness, the atmosphere immediately softens and the couple shifts toward Self-to-Self communication.
This is an excerpt from You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships by Richard C. Schwartz, PhD.
Jeffrey Davis is a researcher, consultant, and the founder of the Tracking Wonder Consultancy. With Sounds True, he’s released the new book Tracking Wonder: Reclaiming a Life of Meaning and Possibility in a World Obsessed with Productivity. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Jeffrey about his lifelong work of understanding and spreading wonder. Jeffrey explains the six emotional facets that come together to create wonderment, as well as how to cultivate each in your daily life. Tami and Jeffrey discuss the value of accepting confusion, what we can learn from challenging times, and the positive emotions wonder cultivates. They talk about “wonder interventions” in the workplace and the untapped potential of focused daydreaming for robust creativity. Finally, Jeffrey and Tami discuss the power of personal devotions and the joyous act of gifting someone else with wonderment.
