Jill Koziol and Liz Tenety are the founders of Motherly, a website and support network devoted to redefining modern motherhood. With Sounds True, they have created This Is Motherhood: A Motherly Collection of Reflections + Practices. In this special edition of Insights at the Edge, Sounds True associate publisher Jaime Schwalb sits down with Jill and Liz to talk about how they originally formed Motherly and their desire to create a more positive approach to modern parenting. They talk about the importance of regular self-care practices for parents and why it really does take a village (even a digital one) to raise a child. Liz and Jill explain how each parent has their own skills and “superpowers,” as well as how you can recognize them. Finally, Jaime, Jill, and Liz discuss the discipline and clear communication needed to effectively parent. (54 minutes)
A practitioner in Tree Pose (or you can, of
course, use any pose in this exploration) can experience the different layers
of neural processing stacked atop each other, even if unconsciously. The
structure and experience of Tree Pose itself reflect the hierarchical structure
of the nervous system; the stability of the lower, sensory layers is like the
trunk of a tree, whereas the higher, abstract layers are like the tree’s
branches.
Whole
Body
While
you are positioned in Tree Pose, what information is available to you?
At the bottom layer are the
exteroceptive senses that perceive the external world (touch, smell, sight,
taste, and hearing)
Next are the proprioceptive
senses—those that perceive the positions of neighboring body parts relative to
each other
Also at play is the
equilibrio-ceptive sense, which measures the position of the body relative to
gravity
Neck
Can you
sense your heartbeat and breath while in Tree Pose?
You cultivate the stability
discovered through equilibrioception through autonomic functions controlled by
the medulla and pons in the brain stem
Heart
What is
your emotional experience while in Tree Pose?
Do any
fears or past traumas influence your current experience, even unconsciously?
The limbic system—comprised of
numerous brain regions above the brain stem—is associated with assigning
emotional value to experience
Head
When we inhabit an asana like Tree Pose with ease and stability, we
experience multisensory integration in a refined and cohesive way.
Mindfully paying attention to the
body as we practice harnesses neuroplasticity, refining the neural pathways
associated with processing signals from the body
What
does it feel like to be you while in Tree Pose?
Feet
The self-sense is the most
abstract layer of the nervous system hierarchy; it’s associated with the
brain’s DMN (default mode network). It is the part of the nervous system that
generates a sense of selfhood, and it is also the capacity that allows the
feeling of being me to occur.
Excerpted from Yoga & Psyche: Integrating the Paths of Yoga and Psychology for
Healing, Transformation, and Joy by Mariana Caplan.
Mariana Caplan, PhD, MFT, E-RTY 500, is a psychotherapist, yoga teacher, and author of eight books in the fields of psychology, spirituality, and yoga. She has been teaching workshops and trainings online, in yoga studios and universities, and at major retreat centers throughout the world since 1997. She is the founder of Yoga & Psyche International, an organization created to integrate the fields of yoga and psychology globally, and lives in Fairfax, California. Learn more at realspirituality.com and yogaandpsyche.com.
Buy your copy of Yoga & Psycheat your favorite bookseller!
Are you exhausted, anxious, or overwhelmed? Maybe your life is challenging. Or perhaps the state of the world and others’ suffering feels unbearable. If your life is going well, but you still feel miserable, maybe you have some guilt or shame. You are not alone. You may be suffering from empathic distress.
Most of us have been taught that empathy is wholly positive and should be fostered in children and revered in adults. This idea is partly correct. The absence of empathy is clearly problematic. When the ability to sense or care about others’ feelings or pain is missing, we edge into sociopathy. However, empathy is experiencing another person’s pain as our own. In small doses and for short periods, it allows us a deeper understanding of our fellow beings. But it can also make it harder to help, because the pain is spread around, not diminished. If your friend breaks their leg and you experience genuine empathy, it might feel like your leg is broken too. This makes it harder for you to function and definitely harder for you to help them.
Empathy can make us sick, overwhelmed, and burned out.
Many people feel helpless in the face of the magnitude of suffering in the world today. It can result in what appears to be apathy at first but is actually empathic distress, which means “hurting for others while feeling unable to help.” An op-ed in the New York Times titled “That Numbness You’re Feeling? There’s a Word for It” described this phenomenon and cited some of the research I used to create the Sounds True audio course Shining Bright Without Burning Out: Spiritual Tools for Creating Healthy Energetic Boundaries in an Overconnected World.
The Research
Neuroscientists Olga Klimecki and Tania Singer identified empathy as a contributing factor to burnout, primarily but not exclusively, among healthcare workers and therapists. The older term compassion fatigue is a “misnomer.” Compassion and empathy have distinctly different impacts on our bodies and psyches. Compassion is witnessing and being willing to help when possible and appropriate. Empathy is taking on others’ pain as our own. Empathy often creates “more distress.” It is a huge distinction.
Empathy is overrated and fatiguing. Compassion is what we need. Unfortunately, we often confuse the two. This dynamic is one reason why developing healthy energetic boundaries is essential.
Decreasing Empathic Distress
Being unable to adjust between compassion and empathy is a big reason many people feel drained and overwhelmed. Research about the critical difference between compassion and empathy aligns with many spiritual concepts of energetic boundaries. It also challenges some. One of the ways we inadvertently make things difficult for ourselves is when we believe that to be good, kind, “spiritual” people, we must always be wide open. We must be at one with the universe, be open to everyone, and say yes to everything. There is a paradox here. We are all one on some level, but we need to embrace the ability to differentiate ourselves from others at times to steward our own health.
We have reached a tipping point with empathic distress; it is a crisis within the crises.
Klimecki and Singer focus on how training in compassion meditation can help reduce empathic distress, shifting from an experience of absorbing others’ energy to a state of kindness toward others with clear self-differentiation. The distinction between empathy and compassion is one of the first things we cover in Shining Bright Without Burning Out: Spiritual Tools for Creating Healthy Energetic Boundaries in an Overconnected World. The course also includes a full set of tools for addressing empathic distress from the perspective of energetic boundaries.
Here are a few additional steps you can take today to begin reducing empathic distress:
Be clear about your direct responsibilities and what is not yours.
Pause before entering new situations: conversations, appointments with clients, meetings, etc. Take a moment to reset yourself with a breath and an intention for how you want to engage.
Pay attention to how you feel after interactions with people, places, and media. Note over time when your mood or body feels drained so that you can prepare more thoroughly in the future, consider how to minimize those interactions if they are optional, and take time to reset after engaging.
Mara Bishop
Mara Bishop is a shamanic practitioner, intuitive consultant, teacher, author, and artist. In private practice, she uses her Personal Evolution Counseling™ method to provide an integrated approach to spiritual healing, personal growth, and emotional well-being. Her books Shamanism for Every Day: 365 Journeys and Inner Divinity: Crafting Your Life with Sacred Intelligence are resource guides for spiritual practice. She resides in Durham, North Carolina. For more, visit wholespirit.com.
Women across every age and culture have struggled with the pain of repressing essential aspects of themselves. There may be no misery greater than when we bury our vital spark beneath a dense layer of niceness that society insists upon. With her book The Vital Spark, Lisa Marchiano, a Jungian analyst, author, and podcaster, offers readers a breakthrough guide filled with insights, practices, tales, and teachings to unleash your “sizzling spirit” and live life to the fullest.
Get ready to reclaim your “outlaw energies” in this powerful podcast on: transformation through fierce feminine initiations; the protective quality of shrewdness and ruthlessness; breaking out of an “innocence complex”; allowing ourselves to know what we know; why “too much kindness defangs us”; discernment; the metaphor of the central fire within us; Carl Jung’s teaching on the unlived life and the “glowing coals under gray ashes”; the vehicle of story and fairy tales to convey wisdom; the tale of “Fitcher’s Bird”; squinting and symbolism; the unsentimental quality in nature; the story of Lilith; the role of greed and selfishness in the quest for wholeness; growing confidence; cultivating the qualities that help us stay connected with ourselves; and more.
Responding to an undeniable inner impulse for deeper understanding and purpose, Moshe Gersht left behind a successful career as a musician to study the Torah in Jerusalem. Today, he writes and teaches about the connections between Judaism, mystical wisdom, the mind, and our collective human struggles. In this compelling conversation with Sounds True founder Tami Simon, Moshe discusses his new book, The Three Conditions: How Intention, Joy, and Certainty Will Supercharge Your Life.
Give a listen to this inspiring podcast exploring: trusting that things will get better; holding space for peace and joy amidst chaotic situations; the underlying current of the oneness of infinity; being with our pain instead of fighting it; the search for success versus the search for meaning; finding language for our inner experience through the Torah and Jewish mysticism; the opportunity to connect with God in every moment; the analogy of the seed bursting with potential; the movement of life, of which we are all a part; stepping into “the infinite patience”; the qualities of a supercharged life; choosing the level on which you will experience life; the psychological and spiritual shifts we initiate through the three conditions of intention, joy, and certainty; why “what you focus on, you feel”; building momentum on the path to healing; the fallacy of “finished”; realigning with our essential purpose and our inherent goodness; the anatomy of transition and having faith in yourself; being a spiritual antenna; the two directions challenges can take us; and more.
Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.
1/2 cup coconut cream, from the top of a chilled 13 1/2-ounce can of full-fat coconut milk
1 1/2 cups dark chocolate chips or chopped dark chocolate
2 drops food-grade pure lavender oil
1/4 cup cacao powder
2 Tbsp dried rose petals, crushed
INSTRUCTIONS:
Scoop the coconut cream into a double boiler. Heat the coconut cream until it’s hot to the touch, then pour in the chocolate. Turn the heat down to medium-low. Stir the chocolate and coconut cream together until the chocolate is fully melted and the mixture forms a shiny ganache.
Remove the ganache from heat and stir in the lavender oil. Place the bowl of ganache in the refrigerator to chill for 2 hours, or until completely solid.
Line a plate with parchment paper. Scoop the chocolate mixture into 16 pieces using a tablespoon, and place on the plate. Don’t worry about forming the pieces into spheres yet. Place the plate back in the refrigerator for 10 minutes to firm up.
Pour the cacao powder and crushed rose petals into 2 small separate bowls. Roll the refrigerated chocolate blobs into balls, then roll them in either cacao powder, rose petals, or leave them plain. Serve.
Store leftover Lavender Rose Chocolate Truffles in an airtight container in the refrigerator for about 1 week, or freeze for up to 1 month. Defrost before serving.
Sadie Radinsky is a 19-year-old blogger and recipe creator. For over six years, she has touched the lives of girls and women worldwide with her award-winning website, wholegirl.com, where she shares paleo treat recipes and advice for living an empowered life. She has published articles and recipes in national magazines and other platforms, including Paleo, Shape, Justine, mindbodygreen, and ThePrimal Kitchen Cookbook. She lives in the mountains of Los Angeles. For more, visit wholegirl.com.
Sadie Radinsky
